I am sure that there are not many people who favored mathematics at school. Well, dealing with numbers, fractions, percentages, and the rest of the math operations, isn’t quite easy.
Little Johnny seems not to be an exception. His multiplication skills, or lack of them, brought him in trouble.
Little Johnny comes home from school and tells his father, ”I got an F in math today.”
His father replies, ”What happened?”
Little Johnny says, ”Well, my teacher asked me, ‘What’s 3 times 2’, and I said 6.’”
The father replies, ”Well, that’s correct.”
Little Johnny says, ”I know. Then she asked me, ‘What’s 2 times 3.’”
The father shouts, ”What the fuck is the difference?”
Little Johnny says, ”That’s what I said!”
If this made you laugh, below is another joke that will make your day.
A couple had been married for years, and the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in.
Here’s another hilarious joke that will surely put a smile on your face.
The Talking Dog
A man sees a sign outside a house that reads, “Talking Dog for Sale.” Curious, he knocks on the door, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The man walks into the yard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.
“Can you talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the dog replies.
Amazed, the man asks, “So, what’s your story?”
The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my ability to talk when I was a puppy, and I wanted to use it for good. I worked for the CIA for years, traveling the world and listening in on top-secret conversations. I’ve uncovered countless international secrets and helped take down criminal organizations. After years of dedicated service, I decided to settle down and live a quiet life.”
The man is absolutely stunned. He goes back to the house and asks the owner, “How much for the dog?”
The owner replies, “Ten dollars.”
“Ten dollars? But this dog is amazing! Why so cheap?”
The owner shrugs and says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that stuff.
