In a recent episode of her podcast, Michelle Obama opened up about the reasons behind her decision not to attend Donald Trump’s inauguration in January 2017, a move that sparked widespread speculation. Her absence from the event, alongside her missed appearance at Jimmy Carter’s funeral, led to a flurry of rumors ranging from political differences to personal issues within her marriage to former President Barack Obama. Michelle Obama has now clarified the reasons for her actions, which she says were rooted in the need for personal well-being rather than any political or marital conflict.
Michelle Obama’s Decision: A Focus on Self-Care
During her podcast, which also features actress Taraji P. Henson, Michelle Obama explained that her decision to skip the inauguration was about focusing on her own mental and emotional health. She emphasized that, at that point in her life, she needed to prioritize self-care and define her life on her own terms. “I’m at this stage in life where I have to define my life on my terms for the first time,” Michelle Obama shared, according to Today.
She further explained that taking time for herself and going to therapy was part of the process of understanding and managing her personal needs. Her decision was not influenced by any external factors like political resentment or marital strife, but rather a commitment to her own well-being.

The Speculation and Criticism Surrounding Her Absence
When Michelle Obama did not attend the inauguration, speculation about her reasons quickly spread. Some media outlets and commentators speculated that her absence could signal political resistance to Trump’s presidency. Others questioned her personal life, suggesting that there could be underlying tensions in her marriage to Barack Obama. The lack of an immediate explanation from the former First Lady’s office only fueled these rumors.
At the time, a brief statement was issued by the Obama office, confirming that former President Barack Obama would attend the inauguration, but Michelle Obama would not. This lack of detailed explanation led to further gossip and speculation.
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Michelle Obama Responds to the Rumors
In her podcast, Michelle Obama directly addressed the rumors that had circulated about her absence. She acknowledged the criticism she faced, particularly the assumption that her marriage was in trouble. “People couldn’t believe that I was saying no for any other reason, they had to assume that my marriage was falling apart,” she shared. This comment highlights the intense scrutiny and judgment that public figures often face, especially when their personal decisions deviate from expectations.
Michelle Obama emphasized that her decision was a deeply personal one, and she had to resist the pressure to conform to what others perceived as the right course of action. “It took everything in my power to not do the thing that was perceived as right, but do the things that were right for me,” she said. This statement underscored the difficulty of making decisions that align with one’s personal values in the face of external expectations.

Teaching Her Daughters the Importance of Saying No
Another key takeaway from Michelle Obama’s podcast discussion was her focus on teaching her daughters, Sasha and Malia, the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no. She shared that as a parent, she wanted her daughters to understand the value of prioritizing their own needs, rather than always trying to please others or meet societal expectations.
“I want them to start practicing now the art of saying no,” Obama said. “Because I see it in them – pleasing, excelling, not wanting to take anything for granted, always showing gratitude.” She stressed that saying no is a skill that must be cultivated, and it requires regular practice to be able to set healthy boundaries. This is an important lesson for young people, especially in a world where societal pressures often encourage people to overextend themselves.
Michelle Obama’s Public Perception of Donald Trump
Michelle Obama’s comments about Donald Trump in past interviews have been well-documented. She has not hesitated to express her disdain for him, often criticizing his actions and character. In a 2016 interview, Michelle Obama famously referred to Trump’s comments and behavior as deeply troubling, stating that his rhetoric was not only offensive but also dangerous for the future of the country. She has also described him as “a convicted felon, a known slumlord,” and “a predator found liable for sexual abuse,” according to The Independent.
Despite her criticisms, Michelle Obama’s decision to abstain from attending Trump’s inauguration was framed as a personal choice, rooted in her need for self-care, rather than a direct political statement. Her decision was not about undermining the institution of the presidency but about taking care of herself in a way that she deemed necessary.

The Power of Personal Boundaries in Public Life
Michelle Obama’s story serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of personal boundaries, especially for those in the public eye. As First Lady, Michelle Obama was subject to immense scrutiny and pressure, not only as a political figure but also as a mother, wife, and public role model. Her decision to prioritize her own mental health and emotional well-being, despite the public backlash, serves as an example of the importance of self-care and personal boundaries in maintaining one’s sense of identity and peace.
In a society that often places unrealistic expectations on public figures, Michelle Obama’s story highlights the challenges of maintaining one’s own needs and values while constantly being under the microscope. It also underscores the importance of empowering others—especially young people—to understand the value of setting boundaries and learning to say no when necessary.

Conclusion: A Personal Decision with Broader Implications
Michelle Obama’s absence from Donald Trump’s inauguration was not driven by political animosity or personal scandal, as some had speculated. Rather, it was a deeply personal decision based on her need for self-care and to define her life on her terms. In discussing her decision, she has sparked an important conversation about the need for personal boundaries, particularly for public figures who are constantly under scrutiny.
Her experience serves as a reminder that sometimes, the most powerful thing a person can do is to prioritize their own well-being, even in the face of criticism. This is a valuable lesson not only for public figures but for anyone who faces the pressure to meet external expectations at the expense of their own needs.
Sources:
- Today
- The Independent
- The New York Post